My personal Journey!!! It wasn't all Unicorns and Butterflies
Hi Ya'll, so Ive been thinking and contemplating posting this for quite some time. Its a dark area for me as weight and body image has never just been a piece of cake. I get told all the time, well you're just lucky, you are naturally thin, you were born with abs, you probably can eat whatever you want, I bet you dont even have to work out, its never been hard for you etc... These statements couldn't be farther from the truth.
Yes I was raised in a family that was always health conscious, we ate extremely healthy growing up and practiced extremely healthy nutrition habits way beyond its years... But along with that came a young girl that new a lot (probably too much) and cared a lot as well. But I truly believe that is why I do what I do now which is dedicate my life to helping others reach their personal goals and battle those inner demons that are keeping them from reaching it.
For a good portion of my younger years I was yes thin by nature, I was active and ate very well. But as I approached my teen yrs everything changed. I graduated high school at a young age, I was done by the time I was 16 yrs old. That led me to living away from my parents and I lived with my older sister. Because I was done with high school I went to beauty school and was self employed by the time I was 17 yrs old. I had met a boy at 16 while I was transitioning into being an adult and my life was drastically changing. I felt at the time like I was on top of the world. Our dating lasted on and off for over 9 yrs you guys, yes 9 yrs. Well during that time I went through so many ups and downs. As a teen I was finding myself, I was struggling with body image, feeling confident, becoming successful and really just discovering who I was as a person. Well needless to say those 9 yrs brought on a lot of heart ache, trials and struggles. Around the age of 19 I had noticed something had changed in me. I no longer cared, my emotions were shutting off, and I was becoming numb to the pain and hurt of this toxic relationship. What I didn't realize was along with that, I was wasting away. Looking back now I realize that I felt so out of control in my life that I began to over control what I knew I could (or so I thought) I became obsessive with my food, and exercise and even had some obsessive compulsive issues. I think I believed inside if I controlled those aspects of my life down to the very last crumb ;) I thought things would change in my life.
Here is a picture of me on my 20th birthday. My family threw me a surprise party because honestly they thought is was going to be the last birthday I ever had. I was 82 lbs. I'm 5'6.5... I was wasting away. Inside I felt amazing, I had energy, I was making great money, I was living on my own but I was dying. Luckily I have such an amazing family unit that with lots of talking and help from a childhood holistic Dr that we went to my entire life I was able to eventually see the light and turn things around.
Fast forward 2 yrs, even though the toxic relationship was what got me into my previous state I wasn't done with it. I still had unfinished business I guess. So I gradually had been gaining weight and balancing out my life from being so thin, but in that the pendulum went the other way. 2 yrs later I found myself now buried in the pain just in a different way. I was now 145 lbs at my heaviest which on my frame is a lot... I was now miserable, inside and out. I wasn't healthy, I wasn't eating well, exercising or doing anything positive for me. Life was not what I wanted it to be.
Finally in 2006 I had a self realization and decided enough was enough. It was time for me to take my life back. I ended the toxic relationship once and for all and I found me again!
By this time I had already lost some of the weight, a good amount because I had opened up a body wrap spa in San Diego and that was a huge motivation in itself but I still wasn't where I new I could or should be for me. March of 2006 I met an amazing guy by chance after I had sworn off relationships till the end of time lol... We started dating and have never looked back. That year I had met one of my great friends and fitness partners and started training. Really training... I fell so in love with ever aspect of it that I became a certified personal trainer and Nutritionist and decided that was my life calling. Helping others achieve what I knew was possible. My fitness partner and I became the Friday morning Fitness show hosts on Fox San Diego News, and we had a blast. I had found myself and my purpose. I have been down many fitness avenues since, working at Barry's boot-camp and teaching and managing there, to one on one clients and now to online personal training programs., my You Tube channel and my blog and I love what I do.
In the yrs leading from then till now I have had 3 beautiful children and stayed true to myself every single time. I have stayed fit and healthy and in control but in a good positive way through it all. I found my true self in my journey and through all the ups and downs and craziness I am where I am today..
What I am now has taken a lot of hard word, dedication and time. Soul searching, commitment and passion. I was not just blessed with this body and it doesn't just come naturally. I have to work for what I have and what I want.
Bottom line is anything is possible if you want it bad enough. You just have to open your eyes and look around and decide what path you want to take. You may hit road blocks but that is OK its part of the process... Enjoy your journey!!!
You tube:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCb_9xgG0j4rpFgFwet7YOgg?view_as=subscriber
Comments
Post a Comment